Wedding Officiant Hats

More and more weddings are led by a friend, not a clergy member, and the friend usually gets ordained online for the occasion. They write a script, rehearse with the couple, hold the rings or the microphone, and stand at the front while everyone they know watches. It is an honor, a bit of a joke, and a real legal responsibility, which is what makes it good material for a hat. The badges say WEDDING OFFICIANT and DEARLY BELOVED, for the proposal gift and the rehearsal dinner. The rest are the bits the role writes by itself. LEGALIZER OF LOVE is the pun the whole category runs on, ORDAINED ON THE INTERNET and BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME BY A WEBSITE are the confession and the boast of an online ordination, and OFFICIANT I'M BASICALLY A PRIEST NOW is the promotion nobody saw coming. OBJECTIONS WILL BE OVERRULED turns the ceremony into a courtroom, MY CEREMONIES RUN UNDER 15 MINUTES is the promise the guests were hoping for, and I DO THE I DOS is the shortest job description in the building. I MARRY PEOPLE ON WEEKENDS covers the booked calendar, and I MARRIED MY BEST FRIEND TO SOMEONE ELSE is the quiet punchline for the officiant who introduced them. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat, and the two strongest lines each get a second colorway. A good thank-you gift from the couple, and a good one to wear to the rehearsal dinner.