Surgery Recovery Hats

Surgery is common. The US counted 9.01 million inpatient and 17.38 million outpatient surgeries in 2014, according to AHRQ's HCUP data, and trade press now reports that outpatient surgeries outnumber inpatient ones at 53 million procedures a year. A great many recoveries happen at home, on a couch, under doctor's orders, and the search for a surgery recovery gift or a post surgery shirt is steady. The funniest material comes from the patient's side of the bed. Anesthesia stories are a durable genre, from BuzzFeed roundups to a Reddit thread of twilight anesthesia comments, and the best ones are warm non-sequiturs like "I just love you guys!" These hats borrow that voice: I'M ON PAIN MEDS I LOVE EVERYONE, the staples, the worst patient in the hospital (unanimous), and the old couplet that bones heal and chicks dig scars. SURGERY RECOVERY MODE and SURGERY COMPLETE NEW HARDWARE INSTALLED echo phrases already printed on recovery shirts, and the two strongest lines get a second colorway. This is the general get-well page, for any surgery rather than one procedure. Knee & Hip Replacement, Colonoscopy, Vasectomy and Kidney Stone each have their own pages, and this one covers everyone else coming home with stitches. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat, an easy gift for the friend, parent or patient who is under strict orders to rest.