State Fair Hats

Millions of people go to a county or state fair every year, and the in-group language is remarkably consistent: fried food on a stick, a corn dog with yellow mustard, funnel cake, the Tilt-A-Whirl, the livestock barns and a lemonade that costs more than lunch. Market listings for the category lean on the same signals, from Admit One ticket shirts to Howdy Folks fair tees and corn dog can coolers, so the badge words are plainly what shoppers type. These hats start there: STATE FAIR and COUNTY FAIR are the plain badges, for the person who has marked the calendar since spring. The sentence designs speak as the fairgoer. DEEP FRIED EVERYTHING and IF IT'S ON A STICK I'M EATING IT are the food philosophy, I RIDE THE TILT-A-WHIRL AFTER THE CORN DOG is the questionable ride-order decision, and BLUE RIBBON WINNER is the pride of anyone who ever pinned one. RAISED IN THE 4-H BARN is a flag for the kids who showed livestock, THE $14 LEMONADE IS PART OF THE EXPERIENCE is the cheerful surrender to midway pricing, and CALORIES DON'T COUNT AT THE FAIR is the rule everyone agrees to at the gate. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. The two strongest food lines, DEEP FRIED EVERYTHING and IF IT'S ON A STICK I'M EATING IT, each get a second colorway. Fair season runs from July through early October, so these suit any fair regular.