Sleep Divorce Hats

A "sleep divorce" is not a divorce. It is the moment somebody picks up a pillow and walks down the hall. Roughly 31% of American adults have done it, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, and 71% of them blame snoring. The people who do it sleep about 37 minutes longer a night, and most of them report the arrangement improved things considerably. It has stopped being a confession and started being a floor plan. Architects say clients now ask for two primary bedrooms, and builders have a name for the second one: the snore room. Bloomberg reported in June that luxury homeowners are paying real money for a separate place to sleep, and an extra bedroom adds meaningfully to what a house sells for. These hats take the snorer's side, which is the funnier side. Anybody can wear a hat about being kept awake. It takes something else to wear one that says you are the reason, that you have been quietly relocated to the guest room, and that everybody involved is sleeping better for it. Set mostly in lowercase serif, because this is a thing you admit rather than announce.