Real Christmas Tree Hats

A trip to the Christmas tree farm is its own tradition: the family piles into the car, walks the rows with a handsaw, and tags one. About 20 percent of decorated US households use a real cut tree, per the Real Christmas Tree Board, so the people who do it tend to say so. Farms wrap the tree in netting before it goes on the roof, and Mental Floss advises pointing the tip toward the trunk so it does not slide around during sudden stops. A 6-foot real tree drinks up to a gallon of water a day in its first week, and the needles keep turning up long after it is gone. Clark Griswold's "Little full, Lotta sap!" is the shared reference, and one Iowa family recently cut a 20-foot tree in half to get it through the roof. These Christmas tree hats cover both ends of the lot: the farmer behind the sign and the wearer who picked one too big. Badges name the grower and the farm-fresh promise that already sells on tees; sentence designs carry the daily watering, the twine on the roof and the Charlie Brown tree that always gets picked. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. Wear one to the tree farm, or give one to the person who insists it has to be real.