Political Text Spam Hats

Somewhere between the primaries and November 3rd, your phone stopped being yours. Campaigns, PACs and committees you have never heard of can text you legally — the FCC exempts political messages from the Do Not Call registry — and it costs them a few cents a shot. So they keep going. You reply STOP to one number and three more find you, because the same operation rotates through dozens of them. This collection is for that specific, bipartisan exhaustion. Nobody here is arguing about policy. These custom embroidered hats are aimed squarely at the machinery: the fundraising deadline that gets extended every night, the disclaimer nobody has ever clicked, the opener asking whether they can count on you. MY PHONE IS NOT A SWING STATE is the thesis. REPLY STOP TO OPT OUT is the punchline, worn straight-faced in the flattest typeface we own. Set across ten hat colors and six typefaces, because a line delivered as a legal footnote wants a different face than one shouted from across a parking lot. Vote however you like. Just stop texting about it.