New Year's Resolution Hats

New Year's resolutions are a decade-old meme by now. 'New year, new me' has been ironic since the phrase first went viral online, and gyms see the joke play out every January: roughly 12% of a year's new memberships start in that one month, and most new sign-ups are gone by February. Equinox famously bans new members from joining in January with the tagline 'we don't speak January,' and trade press has its own name for the cohort everyone else complains about: resolutioners, with squeaky new sneakers and Christmas-present workout clothes showing up like clockwork on January 2nd. This collection owns the whole cycle, not just the gym corner of it: the badge that still says NEW YEAR NEW ME straight-faced, the deadpan rewrite that admits nothing is changing this time either, and the proud confession of being the January gym rush in person. The two strongest bits, HABITUAL RESOLUTION BREAKER and the dry admission that the real resolution is lower expectations, each get a second hat color here. Nothing in this collection pretends this time will be different. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. Wear it while the resolution is still alive, or wear it in March when it isn't, either way it reads funnier once you've already quit.