Metalhead Hats

Metal fans have their own vocabulary, and these hats are written in it. The pit is where the mosh happens, horns up is the sign of the horns (Ronnie James Dio said he got it from his grandmother's Italian malocchio), and BLEGH is the deathcore vocal, already sold on a Live, Laugh, Blegh tee. Two plain badges, METALHEAD and HEAVY METAL, name the scene. The rest play on its favorite contradiction: UnHerd quoted the line that metalheads "in reality are librarians," and a dad whose son turned him into a metalhead wrote that he was accepted into the tribe when a six foot tall man with a fire red beard hugged him. LIVE LAUGH BLEGH hands the home-decor sign to a deathcore vocalist. HEART SAYS PIT, KNEES SAY SIT is for the lifelong fan whose heart still wants the pit, the same joke TeePublic sells as Knees Say Balcony. DEATH METAL AND GENTLE PARENTING and I'M VERY NICE, I JUST LISTEN TO HEAVY METAL say the quiet part for the gentle giant. MY FAVORITE BAND'S LOGO IS ILLEGIBLE nods to the unreadable logos that black metal bands like Darkthrone and Mayhem made famous, a meme since 2013. MY CAT LISTENS TO METAL needs no explanation. Each design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat, and the two strongest lines each get a second colorway. Good for the metal dad, the friend who still goes to shows, and anyone who has turned the volume down to ten.