Is This Still Available? Marketplace Hats

Tariffs pushed prices up and everybody started selling their stuff to strangers on the internet. The US secondhand market is worth roughly $61 billion and climbing, about three in five shoppers say they are buying used specifically to dodge price increases, and somewhere in there an entire dialect went mainstream. Smoke free, pet free home. Cash only, no holds. Firm on price. Or best offer. None of it needs explaining. "Is this still available?" is the most-sent message in online resale and, reliably, the last thing a buyer will ever say to you. "Will you take $20" is the opening bid on everything, at any asking price, sight unseen. "Lowballers will be blocked" gets posted in all caps by people selling nightstands for eleven dollars. Pulled out of the listing and put on a hat, the whole vocabulary reads like a personal philosophy. Set deadpan on purpose: PT Sans and PT Serif for the classified-ad register, Archivo Black and Alfa Slab One where the terms are non-negotiable, across khaki, stone, spruce, navy, cranberry and one alarm-red curb alert on white.