Insomnia Hats

About 12% of Americans say they have been diagnosed with chronic insomnia, according to an American Academy of Sleep Medicine survey of 2,006 adults in May 2024, and the rate runs highest among Millennials at 15%. That is a very large club that is awake at the hour when the rest of us are not, and it has a humor all its own, passed around as captions: the sandman who blocked my number, the sheep who tap dance in your brain, the favorite sleeping position that is thinking about all the sleeping positions. These Insomnia hats are written in that voice. The badges say INSOMNIA and INSOMNIAC outright, and the sentence designs carry the bits: counting sheep until the sheep fall asleep, melatonin that stopped returning your calls, finishing the internet at 4 AM, a sleep hygiene that is, frankly, filthy. NOCTURNALLY GIFTED borrows a caption that has been circulating for years, and THE CEILING AND I GO WAY BACK is for the longest relationship of your life. I'LL SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD is already a proven slogan on sleep-themed apparel, so it earns a second colorway here. This is the opposite of our nap and sleep-score pages: it is about not being able to sleep at all. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. Wear one at 3 AM, or give one to the friend who always replies to your texts at that hour.