I Only Run When Chased Hats

The joke "if you see me running, call the police, because someone is chasing me" turned up in blog comments as early as June 2010 and was popularized in July 2011 by a someecards ecard. It has been sold on shirts ever since. This collection is for the other side of the run club: the proud non-runner who has heard about somebody's long run one time too many. The oval 26.2 marathon sticker has a parody twin, the 0.0 sticker, and the 0.0 badge here is the same perfect record, worn on a hat. The sentences are written in the register non-runners really use. "I can't run, I've got knees" is listed among the things non-runners say to runners, so MY KNEES HAVE A NO-RUNNING POLICY gives the knees an official stance. MY REFUSAL TO RUN IS RESISTANCE TRAINING comes from an old running quip that counts today's refusal as strength work. I ONLY RUN WHEN CHASED and IF YOU SEE ME RUNNING CALL THE POLICE are the market phrases at full strength, and each gets a second colorway. MY MARATHONS ARE ON NETFLIX and 26.2? I'LL DRIVE answer the marathon, and I HUNG UP MY RUNNING SHOES AFTER THE MILE IN GYM CLASS retires early. This is the opposite buyer to our Run Club & Marathon Training hats: runners wear that one, and the people who live with them wear this one. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat.