Group Project Hats

There are two kinds of people who have been assigned a group project, and everyone knows immediately which one they were. One of them opened the shared document on the due date to find it empty and started typing. The other one was busy. The grade did not distinguish between them, and that is the part nobody ever gets over. This is one of the most reliably universal experiences available — school is compulsory, group work is compulsory within it, and the resentment outlives the subject matter by decades. People who cannot remember a single thing about the class can tell you exactly how much of the presentation they built alone and precisely who put their name on it. It is a grievance with an in-group, which is the most wearable shape a joke can take: anyone who did the work recognises another one on sight. These hats are written from that side. Not complaints about lazy teammates — a hat that attacks other people is a hat nobody wants to be seen in — but flat statements of what happened, claimed by the person it happened to. I DID THE GROUP PROJECT is not a joke you have to explain. It is a credential.