Project Manager Hats

Project management is its own occupation with its own tribe: the Bureau of Labor Statistics counts over a million project management specialists, and that is before the scrum masters, agile coaches and accidental PMs running every team's standup. The job's real comedy is the gap this collection names in its title tile, Status: Green, Reality: On Fire, the distance between the dashboard and the actual state of the project. These hats split between the credential, worn plainly the way a PMP gets worn at a kickoff (Project Manager, Scrum Master), and the jargon turned into confession: a Gantt chart built for a weekend instead of a sprint, scope creep named as a nemesis instead of a line item, a backlog that has grown its own backlog, an agile process that kept the ceremonies and lost the point. I Herd Cats And Call It Project Management is the plainest translation of the job description into English, and I'll Put It On The Roadmap is the sentence that ends every meeting without answering the question that was asked. Status: Green, Reality: On Fire and I Herd Cats And Call It Project Management, the two strongest lines, each get a second colorway. Wear the one that matches the state of your actual Gantt chart today.