Funny Physics Hats

Physics takes its jokes seriously: Physics World once polled its readers for the funniest physics joke and got about 200 replies, and the American Physical Society ran its own T-shirt and bumper-sticker slogan contest in 1998. This collection keeps the ones that read on a hat. PHYSICIST and PHYSICS TEACHER are the plain badges. ASSUME A SPHERICAL COW is the old in-joke where a physicist, asked to help a farmer, starts by simplifying the cow into a sphere. I IGNORE AIR RESISTANCE takes the intro-textbook shortcut, the one that makes problems solvable by hand, and applies it to everything else. SCHRODINGER'S CAT WANTED DEAD AND ALIVE is the wanted-poster gag already selling on TeePublic, and MY RELATIONSHIP STATUS IS IN SUPERPOSITION borrows the same quantum idea for the dating app. I'M NOT LAZY I'M CONSERVING ENERGY is the couch excuse sold in every version from Saving Energy to Overflowing With Potential Energy. OBEY GRAVITY IT'S THE LAW started life as a sidewalk graffito. MAY THE MASS TIMES ACCELERATION BE WITH YOU makes Newton's second law the blessing, and I'M MOSTLY EMPTY SPACE is the atom-scale view of the wearer, worn like a flex. Every hat is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. SPHERICAL COW and SCHRODINGER'S CAT each get a second colorway.