Lifeguard Hats

Roughly a third of America's ~300,000 public pools could not open in 2022 for lack of lifeguards, according to American Lifeguard Association reporting, and cities from Austin (500+ guards short) to Phoenix (offering $3,000 bonuses) have spent summers begging people to climb back into the tall chair. Most of those guards are high-school and college students on summer jobs, which is why the whole culture feels like a shared inside joke: the same red suit every day and the tan lines to prove it, rotating off the stand every 20 minutes, and scanning the water so hard that the habit outlives the job. These lifeguard hats are written in that voice. Two badges, LIFEGUARD and CPR CERTIFIED, cover the search terms. The lines are the ones guards actually say and wear: the OFF DUTY LIFEGUARD SAVE YOURSELF sign-off that already sells on tees, the CustomInk-slogan joke about being unable to be a ninja, the 'savin' lives and breakin' hearts' slogan, the pool-deck 'Walk.' that nobody follows (guards say they will be running again within five seconds), and the ex-guard who still counts heads at brunch. OFF DUTY and ZERO DROWNINGS each get a second colorway. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. Buy one for the guard in your house, a swim-team family, or the certification gift that comes with the whistle.