English Major Hats

English majors read everything as a metaphor, and these hats wear the habit. The badges name the tribes plainly: ENGLISH MAJOR and ENGLISH TEACHER. THE CURTAINS WERE NEVER JUST BLUE takes the over-analysis joke back from the skeptics. English majors' own confession list on The Odyssey Online includes the thought that perhaps the green light was really just a green light, and the Gatsby line gives the sentimental answer. UNRELIABLE NARRATOR OF MY OWN LIFE borrows a phrase that already sells on tees to book lovers and English lit teachers. I MAJORED IN ENGLISH A LANGUAGE I ALREADY SPOKE echoes John Mulaney's bit about paying for a four-year degree in a language he already spoke. It carries an edge, because English fell from 7.6 percent of US bachelor's degrees in 1971 to 2.8 percent in 2021, so this is a smaller and prouder tribe than it used to be. SHAKESPEARE INVENTED HALF MY INSULTS, I ANNOTATE THE CEREAL BOX and I WILL WRITE A THESIS ABOUT THIS HAT finish the set with the overreading that never switches off. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. UNRELIABLE NARRATOR and I MAJORED IN ENGLISH each come in two colorways.