Daycare Costs More Than My Mortgage Hats

There is a line every parent of a small child says out loud at some point, usually while staring at a bank app: daycare costs more than my mortgage. It is not a bit. Federal data has found child care outrunning rent in a long list of American counties, infant care in Massachusetts and California clears $2,500 a month, and Care.com's 2026 report puts the average family at a fifth or more of household income. In most states it beats in-state tuition, for a person who cannot yet operate a zipper. So the joke writes itself, and it is the kind of joke that only lands with people who are living it — which is precisely the audience. Say TODDLER TUITION at a playground and you will get a laugh from every parent in earshot and a blank look from everyone else. The collection stays on the invoice. MY DAYCARE COSTS MORE THAN MY MORTGAGE, flat and unembellished. DAYCARE IS MY SECOND MORTGAGE, which is generous, since a mortgage builds equity. GRANDMA IS THE CHILDCARE PLAN, for households where there was never a plan B. And TODDLER TUITION arched like a university hat, because the bill is comparable and the alumni network is considerably worse.