Bonsai Hats

A bonsai keeper is a person who buys a big tree to make it small. Root pruning exists to reduce a tree's vigour so it grows in a confined space, and the forum jokes write themselves: "If you kill a tree, you gain a pot," "Don't you think you have enough trees now?" from the wife, and "My wife said I had to give up bonsai or she was going to leave me. God, am I going to miss her." The tree itself plays a long game. The Yamaki Pine at the US National Arboretum is approximately 375 years old, was part of Japan's 1976 Bicentennial gift, and survived the Hiroshima bombing of August 6, 1945 because the nursery was protected by a tall wall. These bonsai hats are for the keeper. BONSAI and BONSAI DAD are the plain badges, the second for the dad who keeps the trees. PRETTY FLY FOR A BONSAI and the tiny tree, big feelings line already sell as hat titles on TeePublic, so they carry proven demand. The originals tell the control joke: bonsai as tree prison with the keeper as warden, roots cut for the tree's own good, and a tree 40 years old and 9 inches tall. The prison line and the 40-year-old tree each come in a second colorway. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. Wear one to the workbench, or give it to the person who has been repotting for decades.