Always Cold Hats

Some people are cold in July. They keep a blanket at the office, a hoodie in the car, and a jacket for the beach, and they have heard every version of "it's only seventy-two in here." This collection is for them, written from the cold person's own side of the room. Always-cold is one of the steadiest identity phrases on print-on-demand shelves: one marketplace category alone lists 629 always-cold shirts, and the same few lines turn up again and again, "Probably hungry, likely sleepy, always cold" and "The cold always bothered me" among them. Cold natured, the Southern folk word for the condition, is searched as a phrase of its own. The badges say it plainly: ALWAYS COLD and COLD NATURED. The longer lines are small confessions. A stacked-trait list that ends on the one state that never changes, a jacket packed for the beach, feet like ice cubes with an apology attached, a sweater-weather season that runs twelve months, heated seats in July, and a genetic diagnosis of being underheated. THE COLD ALWAYS BOTHERED ME flips a famous Frozen song line into a complaint nobody can argue with. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. The two strongest lines each get a second colorway. Wear it at the office, where the air conditioning is already winning, or give it to the person who steals your sweatshirt.