All-You-Can-Eat Buffet Hats

The all-you-can-eat buffet runs on a quiet bet: operators charge a flat rate and count on the average customer to eat less than the cost of the meal, and the small plates exist to slow the line and limit what you carry back. These hats are for the customers who read that as a challenge. Golden Corral alone has hundreds of locations across the continental U.S. and a sub-$20 buffet, and in October 2011 it launched the Chocolate Wonderfall, the fountain that gives I DIP EVERYTHING IN THE CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN its target. The designs borrow the real in-group advice. Buffet guides tell diners to scout the whole line before picking up a plate, which is why MY FIRST PLATE IS RECONNAISSANCE. They also warn that bread is a buffet's best friend, not yours, and that a smaller plate forces you to be economical with your space, the strategy behind I DON'T WASTE BUFFET PLATE SPACE ON SALAD. The pacing advice, "It's a marathon, not a sprint," and the viral story of a man removed from a Golden Corral for eating 75 pounds of prime rib hang over I EAT UNTIL THEY DIM THE LIGHTS and the stretchy-pants wardrobe. THEY MADE THE PLATES SMALL FOR ME takes the plates personally. The chocolate fountain and reconnaissance lines each get a second colorway. Every design is custom embroidered on an unstructured dad hat. Choose one for your own plate number five, or give one to the big eater in the family.